God is teaching me when to speak up and when to stay quiet. This is a difficult lesson for me – I have always been very upfront and direct (to the point of being insensitive at times). If I see a problem, I address the problem – not because I like conflict, but because I believe it’s important to be honest with people, especially people you love.
But I’m learning a new way of handling things; I tease that my husband (who is an uber conflict-avoider) is rubbing off on me. The truth is, sometimes people aren’t ready to receive what you have to say and you’ll just cause more damage. Sometimes, confronting a problem will create more hatred than a silent response and an outpouring of love.
I’m still trying to figure out how this aligns with how Jesus says to handle sin occurring with another believer in Matthew 18…I haven’t quite figured that out yet. But right now, I know I am being instructed to stay quiet more often than I am being instructed to speak up, and I’m trusting the process and knowing God will open the door and give me the words when it’s time.
My recent social media feed has had this is heavy on my mind. Specifically, a politically driven meme weaponizing Jesus against certain political stances. The caption said, “hey Christians…”
It stung. With or without political beliefs that align, the fact that I would be lumped into such a hateful depiction of Christian behavior broke my heart. That’s not who a lot of us are…and it’s most certainly not who Jesus was. And in the realm of politics, I don’t believe any issue is a black or white issue – life is nuanced, people are nuanced, and certainly government is nuanced.
I opened the comment box to reply. As an advocate for many marginalized groups, I thought surely this person would understand the unfairness in applying a globalized stereotype to any group. But I didn’t say anything. I closed the window and said a prayer instead. I prayed that more Christians would show love instead of polarizing beliefs and a defensive posture.
This scenario is a form of suffering that the Bible warns us about.
If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. – John 15:18-19
In is in these things that we are instructed to suffer with joyful hearts.
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter 4:12-13
My pastor said recently, God doesn’t need YOU to defend himself…and it’s true. The creator of the universe can show up any time, in any way that he chooses and set the record straight. But he doesn’t…he sits quietly, shows up in the small ways, and let’s people come to him. So why do we feel like we need a bullhorn and a “Jesus Loves You” poster to yell about his feelings?
So, I’m learning to stay quiet sometimes. I stay quiet in the midst of sin, even when my heart breaks for the sinner. I stay quiet when the attacks against my faith come, even when my heart hurts from the personal insinuations. I want my words to be careful, holy, and spirit-led…and in order to learn that, I have to learn to be quiet first.
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. – James 3:3-10
My prayer is that more Christ-followers will learn to act in quiet obedience to the will of the Father. If we’re going to change the narrative of “those Christians” more of us are going to have to start behaving like the word we say we follow.
We’re going to have to start showing kindness in the face of hate, forgiveness in the face of hurt, love in the face of division.
We’re going to have to learn when to speak in love and when to stay silent.
And most of all, we’re going to have to remember that God doesn’t need us to defend him.
Comments